Do You Know Your Parents?

Do you really know your parents? How well do you know them as people; as an individual? As the young beauty, mother or father or wild teen they once were? It occurred to me as I sat around a bonfire with my mother on her farm not that long ago, that she still had 1001 stories within her to share, that I was yet to know, learn or hear about. We so easily assume we know and truly understand the people who brought us into the world, but do we understand all the experiences in their lives that have shaped them? I’ve made many assumptions in my time. I’ve put my parents in a box and placed expectations on them. I’ve tried to change them to get them to be better people and in turn better parents. But the trick is to never try and change anyone, but to deepen your understanding of what shapes them to be exactly who and what they are. It helps you to piece together the story of what’s shaped you on many levels - energetically, mentally and emotionally. The more you explore the lives and journeys of those that have mothered and fathered you; and their parents before them; the more you’ll be able to love, appreciate, understand and forgive all that they have and haven’t been to you as the child, teen and young adult.   

Natural State of Play.

Remember when you were a child? And all you wanted to do was play? Creativity was your main agenda. Through your creativity came happiness, pride and a sense of achievement. Your inner child made a date with creativity and play every day, whether it was in the sand pit, garden, bedroom or playground. Your most natural state of existence was to create. 

We all need creativity in order to move through the old and into the new. Without creativity, life would not be as we know it. Everything we see has been created by the masterful giving of beauty from another. We are all beings with the ability to create deep from our souls. But it’s easy to disconnect at times. You must maintain a healthy relationship with the soul - the voice of the inner child. Then you will know how to listen, how to allow yourself to feel and...how to create. 

Wild Woman.

Dear Nanny. It was only one year ago that we had you here on planet earth. I know you’re still with us and journey with your special ones all the time. I made a shrine for you at home and every time I walk past it, I can smell you: Your cigarettes, your fragrance, your lavender oil, your soaps. These scents ignite wondrous memories of colourful infusion: I think of your dancing, your singing, your laughter, your card games, musicals, favourite movies, and endless quirky character traits. What I would give to have one more crazy dance with you. Or cigarette on the beach house balcony. You will always be the brightest star shining in the nights sky and the wild woman dancing endlessly on the moon. 

You and Me.

I invite you to join me on a journey. Just the two of us, to go some place we’ve never been before. I love how you make me feel and want to explore. When you look at me, you set my heart on fire. Your eyes melt me and your words inspire. Take my hand and lead me somewhere. It doesn’t matter where we end up, just a place for us both to bare. 

Apricot Bum.

I wish I had a cute apricot bum, just like you. 

Letter To A Friend.

Hi darling,

I hope you've arrived safely and the trip is going well.

In response to your Monday night musings... 

We all experience things in life to different intensities at different times in order to awaken our spirit and soul journey. Don't ask me why. We'll never truly know. But what this requires from us as human beings, is to truly embark upon a journey of healing...at all times. To heal, this requires letting go, acceptance, patience and gratitude for the things we do have and the blessings we have had, at all times. But to understand how to let go and accept in the first place is often a big journey within itself. The bottom line is, being human means living in pain. But we can only strive to reduce the pain by actively healing and treating ourselves with love. To do this, we need to start partaking in "things", "exercises", "awakenings", "healing’s" to get there. That's why the world is full of various mind, body, soul, spiritual healers that can aid and assist the rest of us on this journey. And the truth is, we’re all our own spiritual healer. We have the power to make all the change we want and need. Have you started reading your "You Can Heal Your Life” Louise Hay book that I bought you? It's a gem. Please take the time to read it. I know that in theory, you understand all of this, but what also comes with your intellectual understanding is the resistance to let go, because in your own mind, you feel you already "get it all". However, like I said, the pain won't dissipate until we put love and energy into its dismissal. It just won't. We are both "thinking" people. This also means that often we're "fear based" reactive people too. Your journey is to heal your perception, understanding of men; forgive yourself, accept all that has been done and what hasn't been / wasn't. Your journey is to find love again for yourself and in turn men. To see them as people, human beings and not just "men" who essentially all "fail you". As I've said you in the past. YOU MUST FOCUS ON YOU first before you will get any shifting externally. IF YOU DON'T GO WITHIN YOU GO WITHOUT - one of my favourite sayings. Life is simply a journey - an ongoing one. It's a game of snakes and ladders. Sometimes we're climbing and many other times we fall. You just have to keep on the SPIRITUAL journey otherwise life’s pain will continue to get the better of you. TAKE ACTION FOR YOU. FOR YOUR LIFE. FOR YOUR FUTURE. FOR YOUR HAPPINESS. Don't just try and "rationalise", "control" and "resolve" in your head. It's your heart that needs to do the work. 

Love you and we'll chat again soon.

Hey Love.

Hey. I love me. And I love you. 

Valda

My grandmother passed away on Easter Sunday of 2012. Valda was her name. She had the wit of Woody Allen and the charm of Marilyn Monroe. She loved her cigarettes, champagne, Christian Dior sunglasses and Gucci shoes. With bright red hair, she was a hoot. Always finding an opportunity to laugh, inspire others with tales, pose inquisition and express her curiosity for all aspects of life. Once upon a time she was a ballet dancer, a community ambassador, an aid worker for war victims and socialite who regularly featured in the national papers. But she also suffered great loneliness post the death of her husband, my grandfather. 

Valda had to find ways to dream again. She turned to musicals, romance novels, audio books and writing letters on her old typewriter to friends and family far and wide. Valda would strike up numerous conversations with other women and men in her retirement village, which she humorously referred to as “The Green Mile” (note Tom Hanks multi award winning film, The Green Mile), but they were no where near filled with the vitality and energy she was. According to Valda, they could hardly ever hear or comprehend what she was saying. Despite these aids to break her free from feelings of entrapment of old age, her child within would cry out for love; for the company of family who rarely visited. Valda still needed to be held, to be acknowledged. She just wanted friendship, some understanding and essentially the opportunity to love and dream again. In Valda’s mind, it still wasn’t too late. But when loneliness and isolation stifles the ability to dream, its hard to awaken an inner strength of hope that things will be okay. 

In the final year of Valda’s life and to all of our surprise, she was able to find love again. It just so happened that the man living underneath her apartment on the floor below became a dear friend. Bob was his name who shared many stories with Valda on politics, history and religion. For lighter entertainment and every night of the week, the two of them would congregate in Bobs apartment to watch ‘Two and a Half Men’ over prawns, oysters and champagne (and in Valda’s case, most likely a cigarette or few). They found solace in one another; a deep and meaningful friendship, peace and great fun. Evidently it’s never too late to find love and you never know where you’re going to find it. 

As Valda held my hand in her own final hours, she barely managed to communicate ‘you will be a wonderful woman. You were so beautiful as a child. Don’t ever give up on your dreams’. And Valda that day as her own child once again laying before me, with her eyes closed, still portrayed the utmost value in having and pursuing thy dreams. 

Upon reflection of Valda’s life, she was a great teacher with the message that community is still key. Harnessing deep and meaningful human relationships substantially contributes to the awakening of your inner child. Through others you can share a reflection of one another’s dreams. You’re able to share stories, tales and laughter; ideas and theories; challenge one another to think and see differently and ultimately be there as the warmth of company to replace loneliness and isolation. Whilst we are all born alone and essentially die on our own, we still must journey through life with others and share relationships of high communicative value in an interpersonal setting. And... All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them (Walt Disney).