Valda

My grandmother passed away on Easter Sunday of 2012. Valda was her name. She had the wit of Woody Allen and the charm of Marilyn Monroe. She loved her cigarettes, champagne, Christian Dior sunglasses and Gucci shoes. With bright red hair, she was a hoot. Always finding an opportunity to laugh, inspire others with tales, pose inquisition and express her curiosity for all aspects of life. Once upon a time she was a ballet dancer, a community ambassador, an aid worker for war victims and socialite who regularly featured in the national papers. But she also suffered great loneliness post the death of her husband, my grandfather. 

Valda had to find ways to dream again. She turned to musicals, romance novels, audio books and writing letters on her old typewriter to friends and family far and wide. Valda would strike up numerous conversations with other women and men in her retirement village, which she humorously referred to as “The Green Mile” (note Tom Hanks multi award winning film, The Green Mile), but they were no where near filled with the vitality and energy she was. According to Valda, they could hardly ever hear or comprehend what she was saying. Despite these aids to break her free from feelings of entrapment of old age, her child within would cry out for love; for the company of family who rarely visited. Valda still needed to be held, to be acknowledged. She just wanted friendship, some understanding and essentially the opportunity to love and dream again. In Valda’s mind, it still wasn’t too late. But when loneliness and isolation stifles the ability to dream, its hard to awaken an inner strength of hope that things will be okay. 

In the final year of Valda’s life and to all of our surprise, she was able to find love again. It just so happened that the man living underneath her apartment on the floor below became a dear friend. Bob was his name who shared many stories with Valda on politics, history and religion. For lighter entertainment and every night of the week, the two of them would congregate in Bobs apartment to watch ‘Two and a Half Men’ over prawns, oysters and champagne (and in Valda’s case, most likely a cigarette or few). They found solace in one another; a deep and meaningful friendship, peace and great fun. Evidently it’s never too late to find love and you never know where you’re going to find it. 

As Valda held my hand in her own final hours, she barely managed to communicate ‘you will be a wonderful woman. You were so beautiful as a child. Don’t ever give up on your dreams’. And Valda that day as her own child once again laying before me, with her eyes closed, still portrayed the utmost value in having and pursuing thy dreams. 

Upon reflection of Valda’s life, she was a great teacher with the message that community is still key. Harnessing deep and meaningful human relationships substantially contributes to the awakening of your inner child. Through others you can share a reflection of one another’s dreams. You’re able to share stories, tales and laughter; ideas and theories; challenge one another to think and see differently and ultimately be there as the warmth of company to replace loneliness and isolation. Whilst we are all born alone and essentially die on our own, we still must journey through life with others and share relationships of high communicative value in an interpersonal setting. And... All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them (Walt Disney).