Changing "Should".

Much pain results from tension. Much tension in the body is constructed in the mind. The body is constantly responding to instruction from the mind. If the perception in the mind is “this shouldn’t happen, life shouldn’t be this way or I should be better or different”, then it is likely that the emotion of frustration will be generated. This emotion in turn generates tension in the body.

So, pain is a consequence of perception. One of the perceptions that drives the most frustration, tension and pain is that of ‘Should’. ‘Should’ is a language of conflict: A fight between what is and what ‘should’ be. “I should be, should do, should have done…” “The world should be more like…” “This shouldn’t happen…” and the list goes on.

‘Should’ isn’t, it can’t be and won’t be. ‘Should’ is an alternate reality that does not exist.

Write your ‘Should Story’. Expose the ‘shoulds’. See how pervasive this language is and recognise the emotions and tensions that follow it like frustration, anger, shame and guilt. Get rid of ‘should’ and you’ll be happier and healthier.

So, what to do with ‘should’? Call it into question: “Who says I should or it should be: God, my parents, the media, society?” Where has this story come from? Can you let it go or give it back? What will you replace it with?

If it’s a story about the world or other can you accept the reality that is, even grieve what you think ‘should’ be but isn’t and then choose how you will respond to what actually is? If it’s a story about what you ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ have done in the past can you forgive yourself and move on?

If it is a story about now and one that you want to keep, change the language to: “I want or I choose…” If it is something you want to be doing, thinking or saying, then you need to ask yourself why you do not already? Here you will find a barrier to achieving your want. This barrier is tied to fear in some way. It is this fear that you must see and meet in order to execute your want.

Change ‘should’ for your health’s sake.

Written by Adam Cootes of “Arising Self”

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Image by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/krishhtine/4279362060/

The Beauty in Natural Disasters.

We cannot control or decide when nature inflicts damages upon our towns and cities. We’re not in a position to bargain, decide or control when mother earth chooses to make her mark to varying degrees. Think Sendai, Japan. New Orleans hurricane and most recently, the Oklahoma tornado. Because we have to relinquish control, all we can do is ultimately look to the positives out of these situations that arise. I love seeing fellow neighbours, colleagues and towns come together to lend a hand. I love seeing various not for profit’s campaigning to save lives and providing resources. I love seeing every day people become heroes: Rescuers and life savers. In many ways, people and land have the opportunity to re-paint their lives. Lessons of all kinds are learned. Gratitude, love, hope and humility deepens. A sense of community widens. It’s mother earths way of cleansing and flushing the earth, demanding and commanding change amongst us. Whilst the pain of loss is unbearable for many throughout these challenging times, there also comes an opportunity for change, growth and new perspective. Life is not supposed to be easy. We will never have control over mother earth and we’re not supposed to. All we can deal with are the cards that have been dealt for us all, and be grateful and thankful for the life we do have. We can only control so much. At the end of the day, we all have to learn to let go, no matter the situation or circumstance, and grieving is a part of that and that's okay. There is beauty in absolutely everything, including loss and pain.